


Look Into My Eyes

by Writing_will_be_my_death



Series: Awkward Soulmate Situations (A.S.S.) [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Confession, Crushes, Cute, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humanstuck, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Love, M/M, Soulmate AU, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 16:16:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14772953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_will_be_my_death/pseuds/Writing_will_be_my_death
Summary: ((AU where on your 13th birthday the colour of your soulmates eyes turn gray until you see their eyes. People have very colourful eyes))Dave Strider was told he didn’t deserve a Soulmate, that he didn’t have one. At first he didn’t believe that, until he woke up on his 13th birthday, still able to see all the colours.





	Look Into My Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> When bored write a one shot lol

3 years ago, your brother, Dirk, and you got out of your father’s house. You’re pretty glad about that, the guy was kind of an asshole. He was pretty angry about a lot of things, especially you, since you were the reason his soulmate died. He always said you didn’t deserve a soulmate.

Dirk was pretty awesome though, on his 13th birthday, when he lost his soulmates colour, your father wanted him to abandon his soulmate. Something about them bringing too much emotional vulnerability, you aren’t sure. Regardless, Dirk didn’t like that, and you ran away to a close friends’ house, Jake and Jade’s. Their grandparents were cool with having two more kids.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out Dirk and Jake were soulmates, five days after you two moved in, they looked each other in the eyes and got their colours back. The six of you celebrated.

At your new school, Jade warned you about a few assholes, namely Karkat, whom she absolutely despised. You didn’t see much of him, honestly. You did see quite a bit of this other guy, Sollux, who you became okay friends with. He didn’t like that the soulmate system gave him yellow eyes, and opted to wear one blue contact and one red contact, and shitty 3D glasses.

Occasionally this other asshole named Eridan would try and sit at your table, but after a quick fight with Sollux (they typically didn’t get physical) he would always leave. You weren’t a very social person, but neither was Sollux. You two were good friends.

The worst time Eridan annoyed you was on his brother’s, Cronus’s, Birthday. The guy wouldn’t stop complaining about the fact that he didn’t lose a colour, and Eridan was sick of hearing it. Two days later, Cronus was dating some guy named Kankri. They confirmed that they were soulmates, and everyone hoped Eridan wouldn’t pull the same fake of not losing a colour.

Jake and Dirk were notoriously adorable, despite Dirk occasionally being an asshole. Both of you got put into therapy for the unfortunate symptoms of past child abuse. You didn’t like calling it abuse. You still don’t.

~

A few months ago, you had to deal with Sollux being pissed off about losing the colour violet. That’s Eridan’s eye colour. Violet is a rare colour, so his soulmate is most likely Eridan. You’ll have to wait until Eridan’s birthday to be sure though.

Tonight, however, is the night before your birthday. When you wake up tomorrow, one colour will have faded to gray. You’re going to prove to your asshole of a father that he was wrong, and that you do deserve a soulmate. 

You go to sleep, thinking up happy thoughts.

When you wake the next morning, dread fills you. 

Your ceiling looks normal.

Your bed sheets look normal.

Your whole room looks normal.

Everything looks normal.

Everything has just as much colour as it did the night before, and you can’t help but start crying silently. Your father was right, you don’t deserve a soulmate.

Dirk comes into your room when you’ve been in there for too long.

“Hey bro, why’re you crying?” He asks as he sits down next to you.

“He was right,” you reply.

“Who was? About what?” Dirk asks.

“Bro- dad. He was right. I- I” you can’t finish the sentence.

“Nah, man, he was dead wrong. C’mon, what colour’s gone? Jake and I will help you look if you want.”

You shake your head.

“You know you wanna look.”

“I do, but-”

“Then let’s go-”

“I didn’t lose a colour!” You shout. You hope no one else heard you.

“... What? That’s impossible,” Dirk says.

“Well, it’s apparently not, so, whatever.”

Dirk doesn’t answer immediately. You start to wonder if he’s convinced you’re faking it.

“You wanna stay home from school today?” He eventually asks, and yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

You nod in response.

Your life officially sucks.

~

You end up going to school the following day, and Sollux asks what colour you lost, probably hoping it’s violet so that there’s a chance that Eridan isn’t his soulmate.

You tell him you honestly think all this soulmate stuff is bullshit. Why not just go after personality? It’d be way more fun that way. Sollux agrees with you.

In the following days, you see a more of that Karkat guy. Apparently he and Sollux used to be friends. You’re not sure why they stopped being friends, but they seem extremely awkward with the topic.

When you tell Jade that you’re hanging out with Karkat, she warns you that he might make you deaf with all his screaming, or give you a pen in math class. You think you know why Jade doesn’t like Karkat.

A few weeks later, it’s Eridan’s birthday, and as you expected, he comes over to Sollux to say he lost the colour yellow. Sollux pulls Eridan’s scarf off, and throws it in the garbage. That night, you and Sollux decide to make a club, the “Soulmates Suck” club.

When you enter high school the next year, you try to make it an official school club, but the school says it’s a hate group. It remains an unofficial club, but Sollux does make it a website. 

By May, Karkat becomes an official member, claiming that he thinks he soulmate is already dead. You and Sollux attempt, and ultimately fail, to reassure him. According to literally the entire school, Karkat really likes romance, and soulmates. If his is really dead, that’ll be like a huge “fuck you” from the universe. 

You hope Karkat’s soulmate isn’t dead.

Over the summer, you, Sollux, and Karkat hang out a lot. Jade refuses to be in the same room as Karkat, and Dirk and Jake are polite enough to keep their relationship out of a full public eye. Jade and Jake’s grandparents understand how awkward it can be to have adults around when you’re with your friends.

Movie nights are rather frequent, with you bringing shitty “so bad they’re good” movies, Sollux downloading weird cryptid and paranormal found footage, and Karkat bringing rom coms. You and Sollux both laugh at Karkat’s movie choice, but Karkat is very adamant about them being amazing.

It’s nice, the three of you hanging out.

When school comes back in, Karkat and you make it your job to get Sollux and Eridan together. It’ll be fairly easy, since Eridan’s brother Cronus is dating Karkat’s older brother, Kankri.

Your plans, however, are crushed when Eridan and Sollux accidentally see each other eye to eye without any barriers over the weekend. You aren’t sure what happened, but Sollux had his contacts out, so it must have been big.

Eridan unofficially joins the “Soulmates Suck” club, and you and Karkat are forced to create a new rule, “no PDA allowed”. Despite how hilarious Eridan and Sollux can be, it was kind of depressing, for you without a soulmate, and Karkat who believes his is dead.

You and Karkat spend more time together. It was really a matter of progression, without Sollux hanging out as much, you had to do something. It doesn’t take you much longer to realize how fucking pretty Karkat is, especially with his ruby red eyes, almost the same shade as yours.

You always knew Karkat looked nice, he was indeed objectively good looking. But more recently… you’ve just been realizing that it’s more than that. He is really fucking pretty. This, of course, causes you to stare at him a lot.

“Dave, what the dick munching fuck are you looking at? Is it me? Did some shit faced bug get on my face?” Karkat asks you one day while you’re staring at him. You’re wearing your shades, so he can’t tell exactly where you’re looking, but still.

“Nah man, mothman’s behind you,” You reply, trying to save yourself, “I think he’s looking at your ass though, that Vant-ass.”

Wow, could you be any more obvious?

“I will eviscerate you.”

“Hey, I’m not the one staring, mothman is.”

“But who was the one who fucking butchered my last name? That’s right, you.”

Hey, at least he dropped the whole you-staring-at-him-in-general. 

~

For Christmas one year, Jake and Jade’s grandparents get you a camera. You had been reluctant to tell them you used to do photography, but when Jade mentioned it at dinner one night, they were so excited to learn about your interests.

Karkat was intrigued by your camera quite a lot, and insisted you take pictures of literally everything. Except him of course, he doesn’t like pictures of himself. That doesn’t stop you of course, you take hundreds of pictures of him. 

Sometimes, on your photo editing software, you’ll remove the red out of pictures, to what it would be like if Karkat was your soulmate. This causes many nights to be accompanied by crying.

Karkat doesn’t know you do that, no one does.

Eventually, you get Karkat to like having his picture taken. 

“Seriously dude, you’re a natural at the whole being in pictures thing, look at this shit!” You say, as you show him your favourite picture of him. He’s sitting on a fountain ledge, looking off into the distance. He was waiting for you to get there for a meet up.

“Are you kidding?” Karkat screeched, “I look like a fucking dork! Worse than Jake, or that kid Terezi talks about, John, I think.”

“Hey, I know the dorkiest John ever, and you do not look anything like his dorkiness level, let alone Jake’s,” You wonder if you’re talking about the same John. He does know a Terezi

“Listen, even Terezi knows I look like a dork in every picture, and she’s fucking blind!”

“Wait,” you say, temporarily changing the subject, “how does the soulmate system affect her?”

“She lost a scent, you ass eater,” he huffs, “now delete all those fucking pictures of me and don’t take anymore!”

“No! I like them! What do you have against them anyway?”

“You’d hate your pictures too if you couldn’t see your own fucking eye colour,” he grumbles.

You take that like a punch to the gut. He could have been your soulmate, he so fucking could have, but you just had to be soulmate-less.

“Dude, bro, I can confirm you look just fine with red eyes,” well, at least now he knows you two aren’t soulmates.

“What colour are you missing then? That might be the one that really fucks it up.”

Oh shit, abort! ABORT!!

“Shit’s irrelevant dude, I know you look good in these pictures, just trust me.”

He looks at you skeptically.

“Fine, you can take pictures of me.”

“Yes!” You cheer, jumping up and throwing your arms in the air. “Can I post them online too?”

“Uhg,” he says, falling back onto your bed, “fine. Yes.”

You grab your camera from your desk, and take as many pictures of him as you can. When he goes home that night, you’re both giggling messes. You try not and dwell on the fact that the whole event was very soulmate-like.

You text Rose a little later, asking if she knows the effect of a soulmates death before meeting. She says that that’s what happened to her sister. Same bleakness and emotional pain as a regular soulmate death, that’s how you know it really happened.

You don’t think Karkat’s soulmate is dead. And while you’re happy for him, it does suck that you’ll have watch him be in a relationship with someone who has the same eye colour as you. It could have been you, but it isn’t.

You try and tell him that you don’t think his soulmate is dead, but he beats you to it. You ask him what made him change his mind. He says he just had a feeling. And a long talk with his parents.

You smile at him, and wish him luck in his endeavours. He hits you with his jacket.

~

A few weeks later, you come to the realization that you have to talk to Karkat. About everything. About what’s wrong with you, and your feelings for him.

It’s mostly because Jade finally found her soulmate. The person had been hiding, and Jade was beginning to think the soulmate system had duped her. When they finally came around and spoke to Jade, things were better for her. You are now the only person in your house without a soulmate.

All this stuff with you not having a soulmate has really started to get to you. Karkat will definitely notice, and wonder why you don’t just go looking for your soulmate.

You catch him by the bleachers after school.

“Hey kat,” you say, masking your fear. You two won’t be able to stay friends after this.

“Dave! You will not fucking believe what happened today in math-”

“I need to tell you something,” you interrupt.

Karkat is silent.

“I…” God, this is difficult. Just say you don’t have a soulmate, and that you like him, “I was in that shitty club thing because I don’t have a soulmate, and I know it sounds like that bullshit Cronus pulled, but it’s true! I never lost a colour!” 

“Dave-”

“And for some fucking reason I really like you, like how soulmates who refuse to reveal their eyes like each other, and it’s infuriating because you have a soulmate and it’s not me so the best thing for you to do for yourself is to stay the hell away from me!”

You turn around and run away. You know you’re crying, of course you are. 

You can hear Karkat calling after you, probably chasing you. You’re a faster runner than he is, he’ll never be able to catch you.

You run all the way home, hoping Karkat wasn’t able to keep up with you completely. You go upstairs to your room, avoiding everyone’s questions.

~

For the rest of the school year, you avoid Karkat. It’s kind of hard, since Eridan and Sollux have gotten on marginally better terms and are still in the lovey-dovey(ish) phase of their relationship, and normally you’d be with Karkat instead.

However, you manage. 

It’s not fun, and Dirk has picked up on your displeasure. You don’t want to talk to him about it, you don’t want to talk to anyone about it.

You try and take pictures more often, but without Karkat in them they look far too dull. You try and pick back up shitty comic drawing, but you don’t find any joy in it anymore. You look at dead things more often again, but they don’t interest you as much as they used to. You try and make music again, but you just don’t have the motivation to do anything. You end up just listening to music.

As the end of the school year approaches, Sollux says that the Ampora brothers are throwing a party, and you’re the only one Sollux even half-trusts to do music. You agree to be the DJ for the party. It’s not like you have anything better to do.

That night, you set up a playlist incase if you see Karkat and need to bail. You won’t risk being at the party if he’s there.

You wait with anticipation, and a little bit of nervosity of seeing Karkat, as the days to the party tick down.

On the night of the party, Dirk drives Jake, Jade, Jade’s soulmate, and you there.

Cronus and Kankri welcome you in. You’re surprised to see Kankri here, you thought he hated parties. And then you remember that his soulmate is Cronus, of course Kankri is going to be here.

Wait, if Kankri’s here, Karkat probably is too. Shit.

Regardless, you set up your music stuff in the corner. At 11pm, the party officially starts as you turn on the music.

The night starts off great, lots of people are dancing, despite the growing number of drunks. There are also a lot of people making out, and you’ve seen a few pairs of people head upstairs to the bedrooms. You don’t want to think about that.

It’s about midnight when you see him. He’s clearly uncomfortable here, and he seems to be looking for someone. You hope it’s Kankri, but you have a feeling it’s you.

You set the playlist to play next, and attempt to abscond from the scene. 

As you’re rushing between sweating pubescent bodies, someone grabs your wrist.

“Dave!” Karkat says, and pulls your wrist so you face him. “We need to talk.”

You don’t get to argue before he’s pulling you to a different part of the house. You try and pull your wrist away, but goddamn this boy has a strong grip. 

He opens a door, and the two of you go in. When he turns on a light, you can see that you’re in a pantry.

“If you’re gonna scold me for lying about never losing a colour, I really don’t wanna hear it,” You say.

“I know you didn’t lie,” Karkat replies as he turns to face you, “Cronus didn’t either, you know.”

“Bullshit, his soulmate is your brother.”

“Yeah, he is.”

“But your brother has red eyes!” You scream. You are very confuse, a little angry, and a tad scared.

“No! No, he doesn’t actually! Neither do I! Nor does my dad!” Karkat screams back. 

“Then explain to me how the fuck Cronus managed to not lose a colour, have a soulmate, and why this is important to me.”

Karkat huffs, and pulls out a small container from his pocket. He opens it, then puts his finger in his eye to take out his contact lenses. When he pulls the first one out, you can’t believe what you see. You’re still speechless as he takes out the second contact lense, and puts it in the container.

Karkat Vantas has gray eyes.

“It’s a mutation,” He explains, “my dad has it, Kankri has it, I have it. Our soulmates don’t have a colour to lose.”

“Do you think, um, do you think that… it might be me?” You ask, and you are terrified to ask that. What if he says no and you just hard-core embarrassed yourself?

“Yeah, I think so,” he replies, “I hope so, too.”

You grab his hand, and raise your other hand to your shades. Karkat smiles, and you take them off, staring him in the eyes.

His expression changes to one of hope and wonder, and his smile gets bigger.

“Did it work?” You ask. It seems like it did, but you want to be sure.

“Yeah,” Karkat replies, “fuck yeah, it did. I forgot how pretty red is.”

You smile, and feel tears welling up in your eyes. You grab Karkat and pull him into a hug, sobbing into his shoulder. You didn’t think you’d ever have a soulmate, and you’re so damn happy that it’s Karkat.

“Are we just gonna stand here hugging in my brother’s boyfriend’s pantry for the entirety of the party?” Karkat asks eventually, and you can’t help but laugh a little.

“Hell yeah dude, pantries are where everyone hugs,” you reply.

“Oh fuck you,” Karkat says, but there’s not heat in his voice, “let’s get the fuck out of this party.”

“Shouldn’t you put your contacts back in?” You ask as you let go if him and look him in the eyes.

“Fuck,” he replies, clearly forgetting about that, “I’d need to sanitize them first, they’re too dirty to put on.”

“Here,” you say, and put your shades on him.

“Holy shit I am fucking blind with these on.”

You and Karkat leave the pantry, and you hold his hand as you attempt to maneuver through the pubescent bodies jammed in the house. When you exit the house, several others are also outside, many are throwing up on the lawn.

Karkat calls his parents to pick you up, and ten minutes later his mom drives up. 

She’s a nice lady, and apparently Karkat has told her a lot about you. Karkat asks if you want to stay the night at his house, and of course you say yes.

You and Karkat both sit in the back seats, because you’re soulmates and it’s still a little hard to believe that. After a few moments of awkward silence, you grab Karkat’s hand.

Karkat’s mom makes a quick stop at your house, so you can grab some stuff to spend the night. You’re glad Jade and Jake’s grandparents are already asleep, so they don’t ask any questions.

When you get to Karkat’s house, the two of you go upstairs to his room. You send a quick text to Dirk letting him know where you’re spending the night.

“I still can’t believe you’re my soulmate,” you say as you hug Karkat, “that I actually have a soulmate at all.”

“... I’m sorry,” Karkat says, and squeezes you lightly.

“For what?”

“For being the shit-head reason you thought for a long time that you didn’t have soulmate,” he sighs, “I should have fucking told you as soon as I suspected it.”

“And when was that?”

“When you were telling me why you wanted to take pictures of me. You completely avoided what colour you’d lost, and the way you were acting…” he trails off.

You pull back to look at him, and take your shades off of his face.

“Yeah no shit dude, I was panicking that you knew I liked you the entire time,” you admit.

“How long have you liked me?” 

“You know, I think I always did.”

He flushes red, and buries his face in your chest. 

“Fuck head,” he mumbles.

You laugh a little to yourself, and lift his chin so he’s looking at you. His brilliant gray eyes are the most beautiful you’ve ever seen.

He leans in and kisses you, and you do your best to kiss back. It’s quite obvious neither of you have kissed anyone before, but that’s okay. Neither of you care, or at least you don’t. 

It’s nice, being with Karkat. Being with your soulmate.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to do more for this but...  
> :/  
> Got tired
> 
> Still tired  
> :/


End file.
